Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Synopsis: Ron Pearlman is pretty spry for being in his 50's, he and Selma Blair have a spat, eat your heart out Peter Jackson.

There’s a reason Guillermo del Toro is directing The Hobbit and that reason is rampantly apparent in Hellboy II: his mind is inundated by fantasy. He swims in the lore of Scottish trolls, floats with Tolkien’s elves, and even splashes a bit in the pond of Grimm. Hellboy II revels in this high fantasy feel, and unblinkingly thrusts it into modern cityscapes. Bag ladies that eat cats (they’re really trolls) and steampunk devices that let you see things “as they really are” exist side by side with wet asphalt and street lamps. He also has this thing for eyeballs. You’ll understand when you see it.

At first Hellboy feels a bit like Men in Black, complete with a tour of paranormal HQ and what looks like some tentacled thing either giving birth or going through the telophase of mitosis. Soon, however, we take a turn and are introduced to the elves, yes elves, who feel more elven on their worst day than Orlando Bloom ever did in his little yellow wig. All of del Toro’s creature are unique and distinct but they also “feel right.” It is like hearing Beethoven in an opera house as opposed to on the radio or being given a truffle after only eating Hershey’s. Further chocolaty layers are drizzled as the movie continues, with adventures into secret troll markets, some darn impressive and acrobatic fight scenes, and a couple good laughs.

There are unfortunately some moments of movie cliché. These mostly happen during throw away jokes and generally involve some kind of slapstick. The movie is at times genuinely and creatively funny, but there are some Jar Jar Binks moments that make you feel like the film just ran over a possum. It’s brief and crunches, but is smooth driving shortly thereafter.

Seeming to hit his stride with Pan’s Labyrinth, be expecting to see a lot more movies with eyeballs in weird places. I’m putting a must see on this. It is great in the theater and is certainly worth it for his visual effects. However, the story is so well done you could watch it on your cellphone screen and still thoroughly enjoy it. But don’t. You’d miss a lot.